PREGNANT PROSTITUTES SELL SEX ON-LINE

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Two women were charged with prostitution in Camden County (Missouri) on Thursday after they were arrested in a sting operation at a Lake Ozark hotel last week.Two other women were also arrested, and three of the women are pregnant.

Alexandra Wells and Allysia Waldrop were both charged on Thursday. Waldrop is pregnant, but is not known if Wells is also.The undercover bust went down at a Lake Ozark area hotel after the sheriff's department received several reports that pregnant women were advertising prostitution on an internet advertising site.One of the women arrested was eight months pregnant, another six months pregnant, and another was three months pregnant. They ranged in age from 18 to 22 years old.

(No comment - Mark.)

JAY LENO BREAKING NEWS!

It has been reported that Jay Leno's last night as host as "The Tonight Show" will be in Sept. 2009. To celebrate that event, Leno promises to say something funny during that last show.

BEST CRIME / MYSTERY / THRILLER SERIES

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In no certain order ...

1. “Travis McGee” by John D. MacDonald. 21 books all with a color in the title (The Deep Blue Good-bye; Darker Than Amber; The Green Ripper.) McGee, who works as a “salvage consultant” in Ft. Lauderdale, has all the best qualities of Magnum, Rockford, Bond, and Robin Hood, with the addition of yen philosophizing and rueful self-awareness. Must be read in consecutive order.

2. “Burke” by Andrew Vachss. 18 books. Vachss (rhymes with “tax”) is a lawyer who only represents children and youths and writes the darkest, most unrelenting series of books about crime and revenge. Main character Burke is one of the “children of the secret” - abused children who were victimized without ever experiencing justice, much less love and protection. To say the least, the adult Burke is a deeply conflicted character. Must be read in order.

3. “Sherlock Holmes” by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. 4 novels and 5 collections of short stories. What can you say?

4. “Thorn” by James P. Hall. 10 books featuring Thorn who lives in the Florida Keys and makes his living tying lures for fly fishing. There’s quite a bit of Travis McGee in Thorn, and a little bit of Burke also. You don’t have to read these books in order, but I highly recommend reading the first one (Under Cover of Daylight) so you will know why Thorn is the way he is.

5. “Repairman Jack” by F. Paul Wilson. 10 books. Andrew Vachss calls Repairman Jack “righteous!” An apt description. Jack is a loner who lives off the public grid (no SSN, no official identity) and makes his living “fixing” extreme situations. His adventures also feature touches of the paranormal. Must be read in order.

6. “Joe Kurtz” by Dan Simmons. 3 books – Hard Case, Hard Freeze, Hard As Nails. Hard-boiled crime noir at its best. Simmons is one of my all-time favorite writers. In addition to these great novels, he has also written my two favorite horror novels (Carrion Comfort and Children of the Night), a sci-fi classic (Hyperion) and a great Hemingway historical novel (The Crook Factory). It helps to read them in order.

7. “Parker” by Richard Stark (Donald E. Westlake). 24 books. Parker may be the meanest, nastiest character on this list. Very few redeeming qualities. These books are almost nihilistic. Highly recommend you read these in order – some of the books began the second after the previous book ends.

8. “Justin & Cuddy” by Michael Malone. 3 books - Uncivil Seasons, Time’s Witness, First Lady. Great literate mysteries set in small town North Carolina. Uncivil Seasons is one of the best mysteries I’ve ever read. Read in order.

9. “Lew Archer” by Ross MacDonald. 18 books. William Goldman calls these the "the finest series of detective novels ever written by an American". Macdonald is the primary heir to Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler but his writing built on the pithy style of his predecessors by adding psychological depth and insights into the motivations of his characters. Archer often unearthed the family secrets of his clients and of the criminals who victimized them. Lost or wayward sons and daughters were a theme common to many of the novels. Macdonald was one of the first to deftly combine the two sides of the mystery genre, the "whodunit" and the psychological thriller.

10. "87th Precinct" by Ed McBain. 56 books. THE BEST. The most consistent police procedurals written about day-to-day cops, the inspiration for "Hill Street Blues" and all the other more realistic, gritty cops show that followed. Steve Carella, Meyer Meyer, Bert Kling, Ollie Weeks, Cotton Hawes, and Andy Parker just to name a few of the memorable characters we have to know and love who work out of the 8-7. And of course, the Blind Man, one of the greatest, coolest criminals to grace crime pages. McBain died in 2005 so alas, there will be no more 8-7 books.

11. “Spenser” by Robert B. Parker. 35 books. I almost didn’t list Spenser here … but I had to. This is an infuriating series … the first 14 books are as good as PI fiction gets … and the rest are hit-and-miss. Hawk is one of the great characters in crime fiction. But then you also have Susan Silverman - Spenser's main squeeze. The more important Susan Silverman becomes to the story the more annoying the book is. I keep hoping Susan gets killed and we get back the old, tougher Spenser, not the Oprah-fied Spenser we currently have.

A RESPONSE TO 'Entertainment Weekly's' Best Books List

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You would think that when a publication such as Entertainment Weekly creates a list of top 100 books of the past 25 years the list would be chock full of fun books, best-sellers, 'entertainments' as Graham Greene used to call them.

But .... NO! Seems like the editorial board of EW don't have the balls to disagree with the all-too-serious English majors who run the literary criticism industry in America. You know, those elitist sneering snobs who write for The New York Times Book Review and the New York Review of Books and the like. That is the only way to explain the prepondance of so-called "literary" books on the list.

So I took it on myself to create my own list. It may be not 100, but it's close and the list is not finished. I will adding more books... feel free to make suggestions. I can guarantee, the books on my list are more enjoyable, and probably better written than most of the books on the EW list. Have fun!

MARK'S LIST OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE PAST 25 YEARS.

1983
Adventures in the Screen Trade - William Goldman. The most influencial book ever written about Hollywood. If you've ever heard the phrase, "nobody knows anything", give credit to Goldman.
The Mists of Avalon – Marion Zimmer Bradley. The story of Camelot told from the female perspective.
Pet Sematary – Stephen King. One of my all time favorite King's novels.
The Anubis Gates – Tim Powers. One of the best time-travel novels.

1984
Who Made Stevie Crye? – Michael Bishop. Creeeeepy. Like a hazy dream.
Headhunter – Michael Slade. Reeeal creeeepy. The serial killer novel to end them all, The Silence of the Lambs notwithstanding.
The Butter Battle Book – Dr. Seuss. Yes, that's right. Great political satire.

1985
The Damnation Game – Clive Barker. My personal favorite Barker novel. Real evil.
Ender’s Game – Orson Scott Card. One of the greatest sci-fi books ever.
The Accidental Tourist – Ann Tyler. A literary writer who can actually tell a story.
Flood – Andrew Vachss. The first Burke novel, launching perhaps the best (and darkest) series of crime novels.
The Fraternity of the Rose – David Morrell. One of the greatest thriller writers who is more literary than the writers who are profiled by the New York Times.

1986
Speaker of the Dead – Orson Scott Card. Sequel to one of the greatest sci-fi novels.
It – Stephen King. Perhaps the last really good King novel. Most of his 1990s work seemed bloated.
Tourist Season –Carl Hiaasen. The first of Hiaasen's comic crime novels. He is the 20th century Mark Twain.
The Prince of Tides – Pat Conroy. THE Conroy book to read.
Lonesome Dove – Larry McMurtry. The western.

1987
Replay -Ken Grimwood. One of the greatest variations on time travel, and a sweet love story to boot.
Watchers – Dean R. Koontz. Koontz at this best - emotionally damaged characters looking for an oasis and redemption.
Swan Song – Robert McCammon. For anyone who read McCarthy's The Road ... you check this one out to see how a good writer handles cataclysmic events.
A Season on the Brink – John Feinstein. One of the greatest sports books ever despite the fact that I think Feinstein is a class A jerk.
Under The Lake - Stuart Woods. Part mystery, part psychological thriller, part history.

1988
Blue Belle – Andrew Vachss. Third Burke novel. Fascinating and dark.
A Brief History of Time – Stephen Hawking. A brilliant man writing for people like us.

1989
Skin Tight – Carl Hiaasen. My fav! One of the oddest and greatest villians in crime fiction.
The Pillars of Earth – Ken Follett. One of the best epic historical sagas ever written.
Geek Love – Katherine Dunn. Veeeeery disturbing. Not for the squimish. An X-Files episode filtered through Dickensian sensibilities.
Carrion Comfort – Dan Simmons. Gets my vote as the best horror novel of the last 50 years, and one of the creepiest characters is a Charleston blue blood. Again, Simmons is a writer who is more literary than most literary giants.

1990
The Stand (Complete and Uncut Version) - Stephen King. An epic story fully restored. One of the all time great horror books.
Get Shorty – Elmore Leonard. Next to Hiaasen, Leonard is the best consistent comic crime novelist we have.
Possession – A.S. Byatt. One of the few literary elite favorites who I enjoy.
Barbarians at the Gate: The Fall of R.J. Nabisco – Brian Burrough and John Helyar. An entertaining look at corporate greed. Hilariious.
The Witching Hour – Ann Rice. I find her vampire books tedious, this one however ...
Palindrome - Stuart Woods. Part thriller, part Southern gothic. Woods last good novel before he became a formula machine, definitely better than James Patterson ... barely.

1991
Boy’s Life – Robert McCammon. An odd combination of the small town coming-of-age story and mysterious horror. Ray Bradbury could do no better.

1992
Doomsday Book – Connie Willis. Brilliant historical novel masquerading as sci-fi.
Jumper - Steven Gould. Not to be confused by the awful movie of the same name and supposedly based on the novel. Whoever made the movie, read a different novel than me. This is a disarmingly charming and dark story about a young boy's escape from an abusive father and his struggle to overcome that shadow. The fact that he learns he can teleport helps.
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus – John Gray. Yes, you read it right. Very illuminating insight about the differences between the sexes.
Children of the Night – Dan Simmons. A different take on the typical vampire story.
Nightworld – F. Paul Wilson. Scaaary. Wilson writes an odd combination of horror /paranormal / thriller / govt. conspiracy novels.

1993
Nobody’s Fool – Richard Russo. Great picturesque novel about an affable loser.
A Season in Purgatory – Dominic Dunne. A fictionalized version of a notorious unseolved murder which led to another investigation and conviction. 'Nuff said.

1994
Dark Rivers of the Heart – Dena Koontz. If you're not paranoid about the One World government, you're not paying attention.
Sacrifice – John Farris. A chilling thriller. Great use of historical legends. Wow.
Thank You For Smoking – Christopher Buckley. On my list of the funniest books ever written.

1995
About Time – Paul Davies. A scientific exploration of time travel, written for dumb people like me.
I, Asimov: A Memoir – Issac Asimov. The life of one of the 20th century's most prolific writers.
The Baker’s Boy – J.V. Jones. The first novel in the Book of Words trilogy, one of the best sword-and-sorcery series.
Presidential Sex – Wesley O. Hagood. Sex lives of the U.S. Presidents, and yes, the Clinton and Kennedy chapters make up for more than half the book.

1997
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – J.K. Rowling. Come on! You gotta have a Harry Potter on this list, so why not the first one, where it all started.
Alien Agenda – Jim Marrs. The best-selling book ever written about UFOs and aliens. Well-researched by the amazing Marrs.

1998
Election – Tom Perrotta. Brilliant satire on many levels. Basis of the hiarious movie with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick.
Homebody – Orson Scott Card. A great ghost story, and love story.
Confederates in the Attic – Tony Horowitz. Hilarious. A Yankee's view of modern Southern culture and the religion called The Confederacy.
The Greatest Generation – Tom Brokow. Seminal book about the men and women who fought the Second World War.

1999
Tara Road – Maeve Binchey. Women's fiction extrodinaire. It was great well before Oprah picked it for her club.
Chocolat – Joanne Harris. If you've only seen the movie, read the book.

2000
Rule By Secrecy – Jim Marrs. A scary non-fiction book, dealing with secret societies, and modern politics.
Scarlet Feather – Maeve Binchy. Another great novel. Binchy is one in a long tradiont of great Irish storytellers.

2001
Seabiscuit: An American Legend – Lara Hillenbrand. One of the most inspiring stories of the 20th century.
John Adams – David McCollough. Switch off the HBO version and read the book, dammit!
Uncivil Seasons - Michael Malone. I feel justified inserting this in the list, even though it was first released in 1982, which is when I read it. However, it was re-released in 2001, and it is still one of the best novels I've ever read. It's marketed as a mystery, but so much more.

2002
Just Shy of Harmony – Philip Gulley. My favorite of the Harmony books. Funny, funny, funny! The trying life and times of a Quaker minister in a small midwestern town.
The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebbold. Harrowing.


2003
1000 Places to See Before You Die – Patricia Schultz. The only person I know who has a chance to visit all 1000 may be Myron.

2004
Skinny Dip – Carl Hiaasen. Maybe the best novel he's written. Drop dead hilarious.
The Devil in the White City - Erik Larson. Great non-fiction. A history of the Chicago World's Fair and H.H. Holmes, a sexual deviant serial killer who preyed on dozens of women who came to work the Fair.

2005
Jonathon Strange & Mr. Norrell – Susannah Clarke. One of those great long, leisurely written novels. Set in an alternate England where magic and magicians have always been part of the fabric.

2006
The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield. One of the best novels I've read in 10 years. Mysterious and charming. Evil and sweet.
Here, There and Everywhere: My Life Recording the music of the The Beatles - Geoff Emerick. For my money, the best book about the Beatles because it mainly deals with the music, and ultimately, that's what the band was about.

CHARLESTON / JULY 4th in POST CIVIL WAR

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JULY 4, 1866. Charlestonians refused to celebrate America's birthday. United States General Daniel Sickles, military governor of South Carolina, wrote to Secretary of War Edwin Stanton that "I have never seen a Carolinian raise an American flag and if one were ever hoisted over a Dwelling, or a Hotel, or a Shop, the population would avoid the place as they would shun a pest house filled with lepers ..."

When a Charleston fire company refused to carry the Stars and Stripes during a parade, Gen. Sickles ordered the company to display the national banner. One of the firemen symbolically removed a star from the flag and stated, "South Carolina wants no part of the Union." Sickles had the man arrested and imprisioned for 30 days.

JULY 4, 1868. Jacob Schirmer, a Charleston merchant, wrote in his diary: "The day now belongs to the 'Nigger', very few whites moving about."

JULY 4, 1908. The first post-War official Independence Day celebration organized by the city of Charleston is held.

For more info about Gen. Sickle's life, pick up a copy of Wicked Charleston, Vol II: Prostitutes, Politics & Prohibition.

CARLIN ... R.I.P.

My favorite Carlin lines include ...

"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits."

"It's okay to prick your finger, but don't finger your prick."

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

"If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter."

"If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?"

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."